A new survey from Fidelity Investments found that while most couples feel confident about their financial partnerships, many are still avoiding conversations about money.
According to the report, nearly half of couples say they steer clear of financial discussions to avoid conflict, even as they report feeling generally positive about their financial relationships.
"You know, that's the headline this year, is most couples do feel good about their financial partnership, but nearly half are saying they're avoiding money conversations to prevent conflict," said Chandler Riggs, vice president and financial consultant with Fidelity Investments.
Riggs said money remains a difficult topic because it is often tied to personal experiences and emotions.
"Money's emotional, it's tied to how people are raised, how they think about success, and sometimes even guilt or insecurity," Riggs said. "Especially if one person earns or contributes less."
The survey also found that many couples enter relationships without a full understanding of each other's financial situations.
"Seventy percent of couples didn't fully understand their finances before living together, and I think this is one big area of opportunity," Riggs added.
She said couples should focus on discussing foundational topics such as income, debt, savings habits and long-term goals.
"The conversations don't have to happen all at once, but they should happen consistently," she explained.
One finding that stood out to Fidelity was that people associate money most positively when it is connected to shared experiences.
"Things like travel or hobbies or time together," Riggs said of how couples could start the conversation. "Instead of framing conversations around bills or restrictions, if we shift it towards those positive experiences, like planning a fun trip, you can think about long-term goals after that."
The report comes as many Americans continue to grapple with inflation, housing affordability concerns and higher costs of living. Riggs said strong financial communication is especially important during periods of economic uncertainty.
"I think improving financial communication, it's pivotal for so many reasons — to coordinate your taxes, your estate plan, your investments," she said.
Rather than tackling complicated financial topics immediately, Riggs recommends couples start with small, routine conversations.
"If we start small and stay consistent, when we talk about those everyday spending goals before we dive into the heavier topics like inflation or the national debt," she stated.
She also encouraged couples to make financial discussions feel less formal.
"Don't underestimate making it feel casual," Riggs said. "A conversation over dinner, going for a walk is going to feel different than sitting down for a serious financial discussion."
The survey found that only 42% of couples fully combine their finances, with younger generations more likely to maintain separate accounts.
Riggs said independence is a major factor.
"About two-thirds say they like to maintain some financial autonomy," she explained.
However, he stressed that separate finances do not necessarily create barriers to successful financial planning.
"Separate does not mean disconnected," Riggs said. "Whether couples do end up combining everything, keeping things separate, or do a mix of both, the success comes down to communication and transparency."
"The structure can vary, but the need to stay on the same page does not."
More information and financial planning resources for couples are available through Fidelity. Click here to access those resources.
You can also click here to get investment tools from the SEC.
-68% didn’t fully know their partner’s full financial picture until moving in together
-49% avoid money conversations to prevent arguments
-58% of couples contribute unequally to household finances
-24% admit to hiding a money secret from their partner
-52% say planning for fun—date nights, hobbies, vacations—is the best way to make money strengthen their relationship
TIPS FROM FIDELITY:
- -Make it a “money date” – set aside time, maybe once a month, for a relaxed chat about finances. Keep it positive by focusing on shared goals like vacations or home projects, not just bills.
- -Start small – begin with “low-stakes” conversations like budgeting for fun or planning a date night. Once you’re comfortable, move into bigger conversations about savings, debt, and long-term plans.
- -Use helpful tools – Fidelity offers planning tools to make it easier to see the big picture together. Having clear numbers on the screen can help keep emotions in check.
- -Ask for help when needed – if conversations start to feel overwhelming, consider talking to a financial professional. Fidelity licensed financial advisors can help couples bring their full financial picture together and plan with intention – whether finances are combined, kept separate, or somewhere in between.
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