Mother holds onto hope 11 years after son's disappearance during Thanksgiving

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (KOAA) — It's been 11 years since 28-year-old Clinton Sutton went missing, and his mother Victoria Jamerson still sets a place for him at the Thanksgiving table.

"I hold myself tight because you're welcome here. No, you know what I mean, just come home. We've missed you so much," Jamerson said.

The last conversation Jamerson had with her son was over the phone 11 years ago. His stepfather dropped him and an unknown friend off at a motel on South Nevada Avenue in Colorado Springs.

In January of 2015, months after going missing, Sutton’s Social Security Number was used to apply for federal benefits.

Sutton is considered both a cold case, and a missing person's investigation. Sutton's case is deemed suspicious by investigators due to the length of time that he has been missing, and that he had applied for federal benefits but they have never been used.

The cold case of Clinton Sutton, a family's hope

"He told me on the phone he'd met this new, these new guys, these new friends, and they were hanging out. I was like, look, I can't really talk now," Jamerson said, "I said either you call me or I'll call you first thing in the morning. And I called him first thing in the morning and there was never no reply. Ever again."

For 11 years, Clinton hasn't eaten Thanksgiving dinner with his family. For 11 years, he hasn't opened presents on Christmas Day. For 11 years, Victoria Jamerson has been waiting for her son to come home.

"You know that pain does that heaviness in your heart never goes away," Jamerson said.

Despite the pain, she refuses to give up hope.

"It's very hard after 11 years to just keep on going on and I will keep going on until the day I don't breathe," Jamerson said.

When asked what she would do if Clinton walked through the door, Jamerson's response was immediate.

"I would just hug him and I don't know if I'd ever let him go," she said.

Jamerson has developed coping mechanisms over the years, including self-hugging.

"I do that to myself because they say it releases endorphins if you hold yourself tight and hug yourself," she explained. When asked if it feels like Clinton is hugging her, she simply replied, "Yes."

To keep Clinton's memory alive, Jamerson started a new Thanksgiving tradition where everyone goes around the table.

This is the story she plans to tell this year.

"His stepfather was becoming a prison guard. And you had to be maced to do that. And Clinton would do anything for, I offered him, I'm not exaggerating, I offered him $3 to let me mace him," Jamerson said, "And I maced him!"

The feeling of grief during the holiday season is something many people experience, according to Sydney Pantoja, a clinical manager and mental health therapist at Ellie Mental Health.

"All of a sudden we get a reminder whether that's a smell or a song or just the time of year like the holidays, and then all of a sudden it just comes crashing back in," Pantoja said.

Pantoja says grief comes in many forms and encourages people to embrace all emotions during difficult times.

"We can be sad about what we're missing or what's different around this time of year, but also allow ourselves to feel joy and gratitude for what is still here," Pantoja said.

Pantoja says there are a few ways to get through grief this season:

• Lean on a trusted friend or family member for support
• Seek out a therapist if you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or family
• Acknowledge what you're feeling and don't hold it down
• Keep traditions even if they feel a little different this year, or make new traditions to keep the memory alive
• Volunteer your time to something your past loved one was passionate about
• Serve others during the holiday season to stay grounded and bring joy

Here are some resources if you are feeling grief this season.

Victoria's advice for others dealing with loss during the holidays is to focus on positive memories.

"On Thanksgiving and holidays, talk about them, bring up great memories, have hope… It's hard, but with the family together, staying strong and just remembering them and I mean, he's, we're waiting. I'm never gonna give up, I'm never gonna stop these stories," Jamerson said.

At the top of her stairs, Jamerson keeps a reminder of Clinton visible every morning as she starts her day.

"When I walk, come out of my bedroom every morning to not to remind myself. You know, and he'll probably be down here for Thanksgiving. It sounds tragic and it is tragic, but I, I have hope he's coming home soon," Jamerson said.

There will always be an empty chair at the Thanksgiving table, waiting to be filled.

Victoria Jamerson says she believes there is someone out there who knows something about her son's disappearance. If you or someone you know has any information, reach out to the Colorado Springs Police Department at (719) 444-7000; or if you wish to remain anonymous, you may call the Crime Stoppers Tip Line at (719) 634-STOP (7867) or 1-800-222-8477.

You can also email the Colorado Springs Police Department at CSPDColdCase@coloradosprings.gov.

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