COLORADO SPRINGS — Through this vlog I hope to create a space for moms to come and talk, share a laugh and frankly... vent. Parenting can be hard and coming together makes it that much easier.
This third pregnancy was a bit of a shock. Here we were with a 10 month old and a 2-year-old. I was still nursing the little one and all the sudden the smell of food made me queasy. I knew something was off, but figured it was a stomach bug.
If you've followed my journey here at KOAA you know that we have suffered from infertility and loss. Having our two healthy boys took a lot of experts, testing, tears and time. If you have infertility issues please reach out. I have a lot of resources, some advice and a listening ear.
This was the first time in my life I had taken a random at home pregnancy test that was POSITIVE. Honestly, I'm still shocked. My husband may have been more scared than excited the first few days. HA. We have two wild boys. Our house is chaos.
Right now we feel so blessed. We prayed to have a family and here God is answering our prayers beyond what we thought was possible.
Yet after it all, I am left with survivors guilt. A friend explained it to me. I survived infertility. I was given miracles some never get. I am so grateful for my kids everyday. Their noise, their love, their goofy personalities. Even the tantrums, bumps and bruises. I truly enjoy being a mom more than anything in life, but some days are HARD.
At the end of the day I often lay may head down and just beat myself up for losing my patience, not being present enough and letting the house look like a mess.
My boys are absolutely amazing, the best. So cute. But also 3 and 1. That means a lot of tantrums and a lot of attention. The best is when they do it in public where people know who I am and forget I’m also a mom. But guess what, that’s life! We need to give ourselves grace and lean on our tribe.
Luckily, I work for a great company that’s recently allowed me to go part-time. For us, it became the only option after some unfortunate babysitting experiences.
This has been a blessing, allowing me an opportunity to become more ingrained in my community of moms.
My hope is to share our community in a judgment free zone. Let's be in each others corner. I would love to hear your stories, comments and advice and even share some of it in the vlogs.
Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line "Motherhood" to join the conversation.