Posted: Jan 28, 2010 1:56 AM by John Romero
Updated: Jan 28, 2010 1:56 AM
Her silence has finally been broken. The long awaited book "Why I Stayed" from Gayle Haggard is now on shelves. Gayle recalls exactly how she felt when the accusations began flying about her husband and former New Life Church leader, Ted Haggard. "That was just about as devastating as anything I could have imagined in my life." she explains, "Initially when I heard the accusations against my husband I was in shock because I didn't see it coming. I felt as though we were in a very good season in our lives. I felt as though our marriage was strong. Our family was strong. The church was more vibrant, alive and string as ever."
She says in November 2006 when the accusations of drug use and a homosexual relation became public she had to take a long, hard look at where her life was. "It was a very dark time for us because we were losing everything that we valued. I felt in those early days that everything I valued was being challenged." she says. But says all along she knew she wanted to stay with Ted. "That was my first choice. I had to decide to forgive Ted and to go through the process with him of regaining trust, and trying to understand what was going on in his life."
Equally as tough for Haggard was New Life's choice to kick out the couple that founded the church. "We had poured 22 years of our lives into the church and as far as I was concerned they were our family and I do believe that most of us at the church felt that way." she says, "But others made the decision that we needed to be separated. So I felt that I was twice ravaged."
Learning of Ted's homosexual relationship was tough she says, but it has actually given her a new outlook on the gay community. We need to be a lot more understanding about why we are the way we are, and not be so judgmental and be compassionate with each other as we go though our processes." she explains.
It's been a long journey for Gayle. But she says even through the trials and tribulations, she's better for the experience. "I feel as that I'm the better person for it. So now 3 years later I'm really grateful for that process because I gained so much in my marriage. I gained so much in my family and I gained so much in my faith."